Happy day before International Women’s Day!
As I am a woman, I just so happen to fall into the target demographic of this day. I also just so happen to have a platform to share my thoughts, and lucky for you dear reader, I also also just so happen to have some thoughts on this topic.
Megan’s Thoughts on This Topic
You see, women have been mistreated continuously throughout history, and yes, I believe it is still present in the world today. But that is not what this post is about, and I don’t believe that is what International Women’s Day is about. This day shouldn’t be to dwell on what has not been, but celebrate what is. This is about celebrating women owning their power and believing in themselves enough to reach their full potential.
Sure there are a lot more men in executive positions than women, and a lot of that stems from antiquated beliefs and prejudice in the workplace, but I think there is more to it as well. I think a lot of women do not believe they are smart enough, qualified enough, or powerful enough to lead companies and work in high-up positions.
Women in the Workplace
When I was an intern I was told that women wait until they have all the requirements to apply for a job, men just apply anyways. And it works. They get the jobs they apply for, even if they are technically unqualified. I do not believe women should be given anything or are automatically entitled to a role, but I think they should feel empowered to take advantage of the opportunities that are available to them. Women should not be given executive positions in companies to fill a quota or simply because there is a disparity, but should feel that they are capable of reaching that milestone if that is what they strive for.
And maybe it’s not what they strive for, and that’s cool too, but we shouldn’t gate keep ourselves because we grew up in a world that made the decision for us. Just because history isn’t on our side doesn’t mean the future is not as well. We are just as intelligent, strong, and capable as our male counterparts, one of the hardest part is just believing it ourselves.
I Brake For Birds
The other thing in this sphere I feel very passionate about is putting traits and qualities into boxes, and judging people based on where those boxes lie. People are beautifully complex, with so many different faucets of their personalities. Possessing qualities that are historically considered “feminine,” being kind, nurturing, liking to cook, bake, being creative or artistic – none of these detract from being strong or smart or clever or pragmatic or logical.
One of my favorite quotes of all time happens to be from one of the greatest sitcoms in the history of TV – New Girl. Jessica Day gets in an argument with someone and yells, “I brake for birds. I rock a lot of polka dots. I have touched glitter in the last 24 hours! But that doesn’t mean I’m not smart and tough and strong.” I heard that for the first time and have not stopped thinking about it since.
Empathy Is Not Pizza
I was also listening to a podcast that was talking about how empathy is not finite, and that you can hold multiple things as truths without them contradicting each other. The example she used is that empathy is not like a pizza, if you give one slice away that it’s gone and is one less slice for you, and vice versa. I think this can follow in the same vein.
You don’t have to be strong or kind. You don’t have to be tough or nurturing, and for goodness sakes liking to bake banana bread or knitting hats has absolutely nothing to do with how competent you are in validating a machine or conducting a root cause analysis or leading a group of people to accomplish a goal. They are not finite; they are not pizza slices. If you give one slice to your creative side, or your “feminine” side, you still have infinite slices to give to your, and I really hate to call it this, your “masculine” side.
Fatigue, Nerves, and Irritability
If anything, I think having those “feminine” characteristics can be used as a huge advantage in life if you can learn how to use them strategically. I am currently reading the widely acclaimed book How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. First off, it’s important to know that this entire book is very evidently written by men, for men. It addresses men directly and dictates how they should behave in the workplace to rise through leadership positions. It also tells men how to deal with their wives “varying feminine moods” and periods of “fatigue, nerves, and irritability.”
So yeah there’s that.
More Proof Women Are The Coolest
But shockingly despite of all of this, the advice he has for learning how to successfully interact with other humans holds sounds and, get this, would probably be considered pretty feminine tactics. So in this horribly sexist book he is basically teaching men how to be successful by becoming more like women. Some of the key points I have taken away so far – praise, don’t criticize, take genuine interest in people, look through other’s eyes and find what they desire, remember small details about people, be genuine and kind to others – if I didn’t know any better I would argue those are pretty traditionally feminine qualities.
So to all the girls out there – go after your dream job, your CEO position, your medical degree, or whatever your passion is. Be strong, be confident, be resolute, be bold, and be tough. And do it with a bow in your hair and pink nails if that’s what makes you feel confident. Do it with kindness and authenticity. If they say run like a girl, run as fast as you can. If men are reading books to be more like you, then you already have a leg up in the competition, you just need to believe it yourself. Once you do that, you’ll be unstoppable.
Happy International Women’s Day.