mschoen202 I wrote a post a while ago about running a half marathon and assuming my full Carl status. It’s very dramatic and worth a read if you are curious about my nickname origin story. But this post is not about Carl. No, this post is about someone else entirely. But I’m getting ahead of myself.
First off, Happy Valentine’s Day!
Valentine’s Day
Now, as I am not currently in a relationship and am living very far away from most of my loved ones, you may reasonably be asking yourself – what qualifications does she have to be writing a blog post about love?
Not a lot, to be honest.
Switzerland? Absolutely not. But
that’s for next week’s post.
But as the mere technicality of “qualifications” has never stopped me before, I continue. Because despite not being the target demographic for this holiday, I also do not think I fall on the other side of the spectrum either – the anti-Valentine’s day crowd. You know the ones – wear all black, scorn anything that has to do with the “L” word. While I empathize with their mission, I can’t quite bring myself to join in on the sentiment.
This year I am choosing to celebrate Valentine’s day not for romantic love, but for all forms of love that present themselves in our lives. Family love, friendship love, stranger love, and arguably most importantly, self-love. When you take a second to look around, you can see that there are so many acts of love taking place at any given moment, and I truly believe these should be celebrated.
There is one chain of events in particular that happened this past Friday that simultaneously rocked my world forever and also presented a sequence of small, beautiful actions to showcase this in the most elegant way. One single, amazing thing brought out the best in all of those around me and filled my heart to the
brim in the acts of love people showed.
Form of Love #1: Calling your best friend and listening to each other vent about life
but you can pretend it was from
Friday
The story begins on Friday night, as all good stories do. I was coming off one heck of a week, packed with working a full-time job and then working to find a full-time job (which may I say is also a full-time job), and all the other things that come along when you are incapable of saying no to people (do you know what a site tour is?). Needless to say, your girl was tired. But when I got a Facetime call from Tajin
as I pulled into my driveway, I knew it was time to don my best friend hat and be there for her as she has always been for me.
You see Tajin, well, Tajin has been going through it in the kind of way that I wish I could give her a comforting headlock (it’s a thing, look it up!), watch chick flicks, and tell her everything is going to be okay. While living on separate continents makes that infinitely more difficult, I was ready to show up for her any way I could.
She first listened to me vent about my week of full-time doing things and then I got caught up on the saga of events in her life. Sure, we were mostly ranting to each other, but have you ever had a person that you can just share all the messy details of your life with and they listen and support without judgement?
That is special, and that is today’s form of love #1.
Form of Love #2: Your best friend forcing you to hang up on her
because why not
It’s now about 45 minutes into the conversation, and I’m still wearing my coat, work badge, and shoes because it was one of those types of conversations. There wasn’t time to get fully settled in, we had a lot to catch up on. At this point I am fully and completely invested in her story, desperately waiting to hear how it ends and if I’m going to need to fly to America and beat some people up. All of a sudden my
phone starts violently buzzing in my outstretched hand.
Incoming Call: SM Cell (my brothers nickname….don’t ask)
Faintly annoyed from being interrupted so close to the end of the story, I ignore it and continue listening, but Tajin catches on that something is amiss. When she asks what is going on I answer, “It’s SM but don’t worry about it, I’ll call him back later.” Tajin immediately forgets her own story that just a second ago we were both fully absorbed in and urges me to hang up on her and call my brother back.
Tajin: What if it’s the BABY?!
Me: It’s not the baby, finish your story!
As soon as she begins again, I get another call.
Incoming Call: HOSM Cell (My sister-in-law’s nickname… don’t ask)
Tajin: HANG UP AND CALL THEM BACK RIGHT NOW
Your best friend forgetting her own troubles and yelling at you to hang up on her? That’s form of love #2.
Form of Love #3: Your brother and sister-in-law calling you to deliver some BIG with a capital B news
So I hang up on Tajin, fully expecting to call SM and HOSM only to find out it was to get the Netflix password or ask how my day was (the nerve of them, honestly).
Instead I hear the three words that I have had nine months to prepare for, and which still caught me utterly off guard:
“YOU’RE AN AUNT!”
the only object of their affection
SM and HOSM called from the delivery room specifically to inform me of the best news in the whole wide world.
I am shocked into silence, only a strange squeaking noise emitting from my mouth. I haven’t even seen this baby yet and already my heart is bursting with love for the little girl I can’t wait to meet. Even though I know I am going home in just a few weeks, I have to fight the urge to immediately book the first flight out to be there in person.
Your favorite people thinking of you to call you with the best news ever? Form of love #3.
Form of Love #4: A sweet newborn baby girl
womb
The first picture comes through to my phone with my bad WIFI in my horse stable in my little town in my motherland country. The photo finally loads of the sweetest, most precious little girl with blue eyes and a face that would make even the hardest-hearted of us tear up just a little bit (yes, I’m talking about
myself). A picture of my little niece, born into a family that already loves her more than all the stars in the sky. One of the pack, ready to protect her at all costs.
A picture of Olivia Grace. Form of love #4.
Form of Love #5: Your parents dropping everything and driving 9 hours to assume their grandparent duties
Before I get a chance to call Tajin back (I texted her immediately with the news, don’t worry), I get a call from my mom. While she is only now officially a Grandma for the first time, she is more qualified for the role than anyone I’ve ever met. This is the moment she has been waiting for her whole life, or at least that’s what it seems like. Her voice is full of pride and emotion for her little baby granddaughter
she is driving to meet.
As soon as they got the news, my parents packed the car and embarked on their 9-hour journey up the state of California. Not hell or high water would keep them from being there for their kids and holding their sweet grand baby for the first time, and that’s form of love #5.
Form of Love #6: The genuine excitement from your friends when you share the news
I follow up with Tajin, and the settle in to put on a virtual work event I had planned. Yes it is 7pm at this point. Yes I still have my coat, shoes, and badge on. It was a whirlwind of an evening and it wasn’t quite over yet.
One by one, I tell my friends in Ireland of the exciting news.
Despite the fact that none of them have met my brother or sister-in-law, they have no real connection to the baby, and they are all equally wrapped up in their own all-consuming finding-a-full-time-job journeys, each and every one of them was full of unbridled excitement and happiness, joining in on the celebration of something that really didn’t affect them at all.
They congratulated me, asked questions, and spread a contagious joy only a newborn baby can elicit. Their selfless excitement brings me to my final form of love, lucky #6.
Valentine’s Day, Revisited
As you can see, each one of these actions was independent of the others, but tied together by one very special event. In the span of a few hours I witnessed so many forms of love, in so many different ways.
So yes, to all those couples celebrating Valentine’s Day with roses and jewelry and fancy dinners – I fully support. And to all those who will be alone eating chocolate and watch rom coms in bed – I fully support too.
But love can be so much more than just that between two people, and I don’t see why those can’t be celebrated as well. As already evidenced by the bag of gifts I have for her sitting in my closet, I know I am going to love this
little girl with my whole heart, even though she is not even my child. You could even go as far as to say She Will Be Loved. In fact, I know she will grow up in a family that loves her and supports her no matter what, just how I was lucky enough to grow up.
I will make sure she knows that she is strong, she is important, and she is capable of anything. I will show her how to braid her hair, bake banana muffins, and how to use the quadratic formula to find the zeroes of a parabola. I will teach her how to be kind with just the right amount of sass, because even the nice girls need to know when to fight back.
I will be her Auntie Carl, and I will love her with all my heart, and teach her to love with all of hers.
Happy Valentine’s Day.
