mschoen202 If you didn’t already know, May was Mental Health Awareness month.
Before you ask, yes, I am aware that we are well into June now. In the same way my car Gertie’s clock reads an hour slow in anticipation of the next Daylight Savings time to come, I considered just shelving this post until May circled back again. But as this blog’s mere existence is unpredictable even to me, I thought it would be best in this case to put it out into the world, better late than never.
Good Intentions
As is typical, I had good intentions. I wanted to write this blog post all month but just couldn’t figure out the best way to approach the topic. We as a society have come so much further in recognizing the importance of mental health and normalizing getting help when needed, and it’s really encouraging to see. I didn’t particularly want to sit here and detail out my own personal experiences but I also wanted to show that whatever you may be going through, however isolating it may feel, I guarantee you are not the only one.
So naturally, not knowing how to put that all into words, I just sat on my thoughts hoping a moment of inspiration would strike.
Inspiration Strike
Then, last week, I went to a yoga class with Miranda Plus and she said something that really made me think about myself, and in turn, my mental health journey.
We were walking out of class and she said something along the lines of, “wow Megan, I was so impressed with you in that class. You were a warrior, no matter what the instructor said, no matter how hard it was, you just pushed through and did it.”
She then went on to say, “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised considering you ran a marathon but you really just don’t take no for an answer.”
At the time I laughed it off and said, truthfully, that I have been doing yoga for a long time so it’s not a fair comparison. But in a certain sense, she was kind of right: I despise being told I can’t do something (even if it’s myself saying it) and I like to prove I can do hard things, often to a fault.
The Truth About Anxiety
Which made me realize why struggling with anxiety and other mental health issues was so difficult – no matter how much you want to, it’s not something you can always just push through or mind-over-matter your way out of it. And to someone who mind-over-matters like it’s her full time job, this was a very hard pill for me to swallow.
You can be sitting there, having an anxiety attack, with full mental clarity of exactly what it is and why it’s happening to you. You can know that technically it’s all in your head, it’s all mental. You can desperately want it to stop, and yet you will still feel real, physiological effects of the anxiety. Knowing what it is, while helpful, is not enough to prevent it from happening.
And what that leads to is a feeling of lack of control. When you are no longer the master of your own mind, it is not only unsettling but further anxiety inducing, beginning a vicious cycle. And that’s why mental health awareness matters. Because it is not as simple as just turning it off.
The Lucky Ones
People who have not experienced this first hand may have trouble understanding how that’s possible. If it’s all mental, then just don’t think about it. Just get your mind off of it. Just calm down. Just don’t be anxious. While well-intentioned, this rhetoric is not necessarily helpful because don’t you think we would if we could? I use myself as an example because somehow I found the mental strength to run 26.2 miles, and yet, when the anxiety kindly makes its presence known, I am all but powerless to it.
The best I have come up with is splitting it up into two categories: the short game and the long game. In the short game, it’s about finding strategies that work for you to just survive the present moment. You just need to buy yourself time to make it through. Once you have that, it’s about figuring out the long game; building a framework to gradually ease the frequency and intensity of the attacks. I also think these strategies can differ wildly depending on the person and situation. I can only share what has helped me, with the hopes that maybe it can help you too, if you need it.
I am not a professional, so please take what I have to say with a grain of salt. Everything written is a reflection of my own experiences and those I have talked with who have gone through similar things.
The Short Game
For the short game, I practice box breathing – three seconds in, three seconds hold, three seconds out, repeat. I chew mint gum, I do other weird things that probably don’t actually help that much but in my mind they do.
The Long Game
For the long game, the one strategy I have to share is finding some aspect of your life that gives you a sense of purpose. If you don’t have something that makes you feel motivated, fulfilled, or that you matter…find one. Create one. The times in my life where I struggled the most were the times I did not have this, and the biggest lesson I learned was how to create it myself. I also have to acknowledge I didn’t do it alone. I am lucky enough to have a support system of people who not only help me when I need it, but continuously check in to make sure I am still doing okay. And I try to return the favor the best I can, too.
To clarify, this is not a directive for finding your purpose in life. Your grand, overarching reason for being on this Earth and what you were made to do and all that is something far beyond my pseudo-psychological capabilities. This is a suggestion to find just one thing in your life that ignites a tiny little spark of light inside of you. It can be as simple as taking a daily post-work walk, something to look forward to at the end of your day. It can be anything.
Finding Purpose
For me personally, I have found purpose in helping others, in building meaningful relationships, in having goals to work towards, and in finding creative outlets for myself. It’s all over every blog post I write. The biomedical engineering degree, the compulsively signing up for race after race, the all-day baking sessions, even the existence of the blog itself.
Yes, it comes across as intense sometimes, the forcefulness in which I pursue these endeavors, but it’s what I need. It’s not about proving anything to anyone (okay, maybe a little bit), but it’s more about keeping myself always moving forward so I don’t start to feel antsy, to feel lost. I’m not advocating for running a million miles a minute so you don’t have time to actually address your pain points (whether or not I’m guilty of this is irrelevant). I’m advocating for finding things that motivate and inspire you, to building a full life for yourself and giving you not only a reason to get out of bed every morning, but something that keeps you going all day long.
And when you pursue those things that give you purpose, you also simultaneously reap the ancillary benefits. The endorphins from exercise, the community building of baking for others (and the yummy treats), the fulfillment of knowing the work you do matters.
In Closing
I believe mental health awareness is about building empathy for those around you, because you have no idea what they may be going through. The mind can be a scary place, and completely invisible to the outside observer. I think it’s also about raising awareness for the resources that are out there, and continuing to destigmatize the utilization of them. And I think the last part of awareness is educating about what these symptoms are, and what they mean. Why is mental health as important as physical health? Because poor mental health, among other things, causes poor physical health. They are intrinsically linked, and by helping one, you are helping the other. And to be your best, you need to support both.
I will now humbly step down from my soapbox and let you continue on with your day. But if you were to take anything away from this post, I hope it is that you are not alone, there is help out there if you need it, and strive to find purpose in your life, however that may look for you. Also to always be kind to others, it’s a tough enough world out there as it is.
because it’s my favorite place in the world
Mental Health and the MMS Community
And because I am just one person with experiences through a very specific lens, I reached out to the MMS community to see what has helped other people on their mental health journeys. Here are a few of the responses:
“Community and close familial relationships”
“Having an activity to keep me moving (running, golf, weightlifting)”
“Staying positive. My daughter!” (thanks mom)
“Spending my savings at LuLu” (is that you @Noah)
“Breath work (it actually works)”
“Ownership of my emotions and surrounding myself with people I care about”
“Therapy”
“Running (away from my problems)” lol me too
And finally, my favorite artist started The Busyhead Project to address these exact things if you want to check it out:
