Ireland Vol. 5: It’s Not Always Rainbows and Butterflies

Is there a way to be honest about your experiences living abroad without coming across as ungrateful for the amazing opportunity you have been granted?

I’m not sure, but I guess I’ll give it a go.

The Preface

 I should preface this with, on the whole, my experience in Ireland has been wonderful. The people are kind and welcoming, the country is green and beautiful, and I have already gotten to experience amazing things with really great people. All the things I have been documenting thus far in my blog about living abroad, every single one of them true.

But I was talking with an old coworker today and he said something along the lines of, “I would ask you how things are going in Ireland, but I know they’ve been great because I’ve been reading your blog!”

The Dip

It was interesting timing for him to say this because I was actually coming off of two of my toughest days since arriving; days where several times I caught myself on the verge of tears. Even though everything I have written thus far in my blog was true, it made me feel like I wasn’t doing a good enough job of documenting the whole picture, the highs and the lows of living in a new country.

Despite what social media (or my blog) wants you to believe, it’s impossible for every second of everyday to be filled with shiny smiles and beautiful backdrops. Moving to a new country, starting a new job are big scary changes. As with any big scary change, in addition to the new and exciting, there’s also going to be some new and challenging, too. The instructor on the Cultural Perspective workshop we took through work would probably label it “Culture Shock.” I think I would just label it “Life.”

The Challenges

For example, I am working in a new role at a new site within a new division of the company. Whether you are in Ireland or California, starting from scratch will always bring its own set of challenges. Sometimes it’s a little discouraging to feel like you don’t know what you are doing, that you aren’t presenting your best work, or you’re standing in a sea of people who have it all figured out and you’re just trying to stay afloat. When you take a step back you realize it’s a wonderful learning opportunity. When you’re in the thick of things, though, it’s not as easy to have that perspective.

Then, when coming home after eight hours of feeling incompetent to a window in your bedroom blown open by the wind, stepping on a slug with your bare foot in your kitchen, and a not-functional water heater, yeah, it can feel like you’re getting kicked while you’re down.

The Positives

Then in that same day, I run into a coworker as I am leaving work. He stops me in the hallway and asks me how I am settling in while living abroad. He then asks if I have made any friends here yet. Exhausted and a little sad from a tough day, I tell him I am trying but it’s not super easy. He responds, “Well now you have one friend.”

Also in that same day, I go for a run at the park after work and see at least eight doggos enjoying the outdoors in between patches of rain, sniffing plants and happily wagging their tails.

I go home (after closing my windows and cleaning my foot) and Facetime my family and eat some Ben and Jerry’s ice cream and light a fall candle and snuggle up on the couch to read a book. Yes, I had to kill a big spider that was right by my head while reading the book, but I got to snuggle up with a book all the same.

The Highs and Lows, aka Life

I guess the point of this was to say that switching jobs has not been a seamless transition and living in an old apartment has its challenges and – worst of all – I realized I was going to miss Fall shopping, pumpkin mania, at Trader Joe’s. (I know, that’s the real tragedy here).

But also, on top of the amazing travel and abroad experiences, I made a new friend and watched dogs play at the park and talked to my favorite people in the world and read a good book. So no, not every moment here has been rainbows and butterflies (although that’s probably a bad analogy as there are an astounding amount of rainbows in Ireland). I think it’s important to share the not-so-good experiences too.

Does that mean that I am not thankful to be here? Absolutely not. It means that I am fully experiencing what it is like to live and work in a new country. I think as long as you appreciate the high highs (see Ice Ice(land) Baby!), acknowledge the low lows (see this post), and pick out the little highs along the way (my coworker who was a friend when I needed one), you’re doing pretty okay. And ultimately, I think I am doing pretty okay.

The Conclusion

So here’s to everything that comes with living abroad and for all of the amazing experiences I am lucky enough to have. Here’s to needing a good cry even once in a while (despite how much I detest it). Here’s to treating myself to a walk to the coffee shop during lunch because I had a hard week and I deserve an almond milk latte. Here’s to Ireland and new adventures, and everything that comes with that.

Final Notes

This passage was written a few weeks ago and I am happy to say that things have taken a big turn upwards in the time since. My water heater is officially, for-real-this-time fixed, I am starting to get the hang of things at work, and I am looking forward to a lot of fun events in the coming months. Also, my superhero parents sent me the best care package in the world, aka Fall-themed Trader Joe’s snacks. I will forever be in their debt. I am sure I will continue to have highs and lows throughout my time in Ireland, and I think it’s important to document them all as they come. For now, however, I just want you to know I’m all good in the hood (unless the Padres lose tonight, but that’s a whole different story).